A Humble Currency

A soft pillow, beckoning me to lay my head down-
I feel the rest calling.
She whispers sweetly as if to say:

“Come now sweet soul, and lay your burden down.
What in you can surrender to receive? Your mind? Body? Your heart? Soul?
What in you can believe in giving and receiving as a form of caring currency and let go of the tit for tat?
Who are you when you receive? Can your heart take on a new dimension as Love & Trust build themselves into each life offering heartbeat?

Then a pull from the earth herself, beckoning me to offer my heart forward-

I feel the gift of giving is within me.

She whispers softly as if to say:

“Come now fierce One, and open your heart to it all.
What in you can offer yourself up to the joy of generosity?
What in you can surrender the bounds of your body, mind and stories to let your heart expand beyond to something bigger than you?
Who are you when your heart is full of offering?

She speaks more firmly now, and commands:

Go NOW, and BE that which opens you fully. Then be sure to stay open. Give. Receive, and invest your heart stocks in this humble currency. It will create in you a wealthy soul.”

The generosity emerging in my heart feels delicately dangerous and simultaneously liberating. I am learning that when we allow people to help us, when we can take in the support of a caring soul, we truly learn to receive. As we CAN receive, we become able to GIVE too. It seems these are not mutually exclusive-but rather-they are married skills. This humble currency is the most surefire investment of your life. Like a boomerang, what you spend from your Heart will always come back to you: As we receive, we give…as we give, we receive.

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Now this sounds so simple, and yet, I have found it to be a great challenge in my life. I feel as I learn to receive, it’s as though I am thawing, melting away years of un-trust woven through my being; an intricate suit of armor that has kept the love stuck inside. It feels so lonely locked in that suit and stuck, unable to share the vast love in my heart. As the armor liquefies, I find my heart is growing like the Grinch’s, expanding as each layer of self-protection drops away.

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So often people give (gift) us things, for example a compliment. When we redirect it back to them without acknowledging it- we are neither receiving, nor are we giving in that moment: we are stealing. We are taking away the generosity, the care and forethought of the person’s giving of it and we are negating the vulnerability and the love that is required to have given it authentically in the first place. When we can’t absorb it and we reject it in this way (albeit unconsciously for many of us), we are in fact stealing the experience of the gift both from ourselves and from the giver. Yeeps, that sounds un-fun doesn’t it? I find it is much easier to practice saying ‘Thank you’-even when I can’t fully take it in. Listening and not immediately bouncing it back has been a huge step towards acceptance for me. Listening, hearing and allowing without altering is part of our great practice isn’t it?

This post is dedicated to my dear friends J & J, whose honesty, friendship and humble gifts inspired my sharing this post. You are gems my elephant friends.

From my FierceHeart to yours~
Lindsay

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